How to Be a White Person in China

As if foreigners don't stick out enough in China, here are some things you can do to make sure everyone around you knows you're not Chinese.  (Non-white people can do these things too.)

 

1. Wear a sweatshirt/hoodie or just dress like a scrub in general
Explanation: People generally dress nicer here.  Hoodies are almost unheard of.

 

2. Walk around outside in the sun without a parasol

Explanation: It's rare to find a Chinese woman walking around in the sun without a parasol.  I've only seen one man carrying one, so I guess this is just for the ladies.
 

3. Let everyone skip you in line

Explanation: When we first got here, we would often get skipped in line (particularly at McDonald's) because we were giving too much space between us and the people in front of us.  It was just normal personal space to us, but I guess to them it looks like we're not in line.
 

4. Wait for an opening in traffic before walking into the street

Explanation: People tend to just walk into oncoming traffic and expect the cars to work around them.  It's pretty annoying because we try to wait for an opening in traffic before making our move, but cars will slow down in anticipation of you jumping out in front of them, and sometimes that closes the gap in traffic and your lose your chance.
 

5. Buy lots of soda and chocolate in one trip

Explanation: Although soda and chocolate are available here, Chinese people tend to buy green tea, flavored milk, and other weird drinks.  Also, people don't really have sweet tooths here.  Chocolate is not the go-to dessert like it is in America.
 

6. Wear shoes in your apartment

Explanation: No one is going to see this unless you invite them in, but still.  If they saw, they would think you are filthy.  And definitely don't wear your shoes in THEIR apartment.
 

7. Take the stairs when there's an escalator or elevator available

Explanation: It never fails.  At the airport or train station, the escalators are always packed and the stairs are free and open.  If you need to get somewhere fast, take the stairs.
 

8. Say hello to all the live seafood at the grocery store

Explanation: The grocery store is not a pet store.
 

9. Awkwardly avoid eye contact with looky-loos
Explanation: I think I've covered this one before.  People stare and they don't give a crap.  If you give a crap, you must be foreign.

 

10. Sit one seat away from a stranger instead of right next to them

Explanation: It's that personal space thing again!
 

11. At a restaurant, order lots of meat dishes and fried rice

Explanation: A typical Chinese meal consists of about 60% vegetables, 30% meat, and 10% what the heck is that???  And sometimes the meat and the what the heck is that are one in the same.  Fried rice is considered a breakfast food.  Who knew???
 

12. Tell people you don't like Karaoke

Explanation: As I've mentioned before, Karaoke is one of the very few things people do for fun in China.  I haven't met a single Chinese person who doesn't like it.
 

13. Talk about American football

Explanation: You will get blank stares.  You should talk about the NBA instead.
 

14. Buy cheese (if you can find it)

Explanation: All cheese is imported, so it's rare and expensive.
 

15. Engage in public displays of affection

Explanation: I've seen couples holding hands.... but that's about it.
 

16. Try to tip waiters

Explanation: Rookie mistake!
 

17. Utterly fail at grabbing noodles with chopsticks

Explanation: I'm pretty good at chopsticks now, but I still can't grab slippery noodles out of a soup to save my life. 
 

18. Squat with your heels lifted off the ground (bad form, don't you know)
Explanation: The squat is the go-to position to be in when you're hanging around and there isn't a chair available.  You need to do it with your heels down, or you'll ruin your knees.  Adam still can't do it right.

19. Walk your dog on a leash
Explanation: Most people walk their dogs off leash and sometimes they are well trained but sometimes they are not!  And Smudgie doesn't appreciate sneak attack butt sniffs.

20. Say "thank you" to everyone all the time, especially to your taxi driver
Explanation: In China, saying "thank you" is something that should be saved for when someone really helps you out.  Not for when people are just doing their job, such as a waiter bringing your food for a taxi driver dropping you off.  But we say it anyway!!

 

Last Morning in Rui'an

We're leaving Rui'an today because Smudgie needs to be in Shanghai for a while to get his paperwork in order.  So I thought I'd go around taking pictures of the area like I should have been doing this whole time.  Enjoy!

This is part of the town square

 

Old people play a balancing game as part of their morning routine.  Each is balancing a small ball on their little racquet and as they move it around, they have to keep the ball from falling.

 

Tai Chi group - I'm trying to be inconspicuous as I'm taking pictures of people, hence, the bush.

 

There's a bridge that goes over the road.  I usually take the bridge instead of trying to cross the street.  This is the view from one side.

 

This is the view facing the other way.

 

On the other side of the bridge, is more town square.  There are 8 statues with different carvings on them.  I only took pictures of a couple of them.  They're not that interesting.

 

This is the long sidewalk I use to walk back home from the grocery store. 

 

I had a lot of different pictures of different vehicles in China and I thought it would have made a very interesting blog post, but my computer died (completely) so I lost all those pictures.  I thought I would take this picture today to show you what Dreamer called a "bread car".  So called, for it's bread loaf-like shape.  It looks like a van, but it's smaller than a minivan in the US.  

 

This is just a cool tree they recently planted in our apartment complex.

 

 

Smudgie licking his bone

We won't really miss Rui'an.  It was horribly hot here and Adam's job sucked.  Smudgie did like the open grass area that allowed him to be off leash sometimes.  But Smudgie's opinion doesn't matter.  There's a dog park in Wilmington, so hopefully we get to go there often.  Goodbye, Rui'an!  I will only miss Do & Me.  But I figured out I can probably make my own Do & Me at home by ordering KFC extra crispy drumsticks, stripping the meat off the bones and putting it on a sesame seed bun. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. 

I Have a Chinese (Boy)Friend

As I was taking Smudgie outside before bed on Monday night, a guy approached me and asked if we could be friends so he could practice English.  I said sure, but we're only going to be here for another two weeks.  We exchanged phone numbers and he called me the next day.  It was around 11 so he invited me over for lunch and then to go see Pacific Rim afterwards.

 

I knew he was Christian as soon as I walked up to his door because there was a calendar with a cross on it on the wall outside his apartment.  Before we ate lunch, he clasped his hands to pray and asked me if I was Christian.  Normally I wear my atheism like a badge of honor, but when he asked me, for some reason I just felt so shitty having to tell him no.  I suppose I could have just lied, but oh well.  I told him that I used to be when I was a kid, but not anymore and I think that perplexed him because he asked me about it again later.  It's hard to explain the complexities behind why I don't believe in God to someone who doesn't understand English fully.  Especially someone from China who has probably never been taught that it's ok to question authority.  I just told him that I grew up and decided it wasn't for me.  That probably blew his mind.   

 

After lunch, he took me into his room and proceeded to close the door.  I thought, "Hmmm that's a little risqué, isn't it?"  But then I realized it's because he wanted to turn the air conditioner on.  Haha.  He looked for a way to buy the movie tickets online but there was no option for the Rui'an theatre.  So he ended up walking there to get them while I hung out in his room (it was so hot outside he didn't want me to endure the heat with him).  I wondered to myself, "Is this what it's like to date a Chinese guy?"  I'm talking about Chinese the nationality, not the ethnicity.  I've already dated one American Chinese guy, and he never would have walked 20 minutes in 95 degree heat for me.  Ha!  Jon, if you're reading this... you know it's true. 

 

Anyways, he then proceeded to show me his entire collection of Christian music videos.  I'm not kidding.  He's seriously into this music.  And some of it was pretty good, like if you changed out the lyrics, they would be really good songs.  But a lot of it was like, vacation bible school stuff.  Kids singing with hand gestures and everything.  And he loves it!  I'll bet he listens to it all the time.  We sat there and watched Christian music videos for an hour and 15 minutes, then thankfully it was time to go to the movie.  I can't believe a grown man (he's 24) has this stuff on his computer. 

 

Here's my review of Pacific Rim.  It's like Real Steel meets Godzilla x10.  The script isn't great, but the monster action is phenomenal and more than makes up for any shortcomings in acting and storytelling.  It's the only movie I've seen in 3D that I actually thought was better because of the 3D.  My nose hurt afterwards, though, because the glasses were heavy and it's 2 hours and 10 minutes long.  Chinese movie theatres are pretty much the same as American ones.  They're a little smaller, but the seats are the same.  There are no previews or advertisements beforehand, so you gotta show up on time!

 

After the movie, I was ready to just go home, but the Rui'an museum is right next to the movie theatre so he suggested we go there.  We explored the first floor and then I said I have to go home and start making dinner.  I don't know if he's going to want to get together every day for the next 10 days, but I wouldn't be surprised if he does.  I'm just so glad we're leaving soon.  I don't know how much more Christian music I can endure.